As someone in their early twenties I obviously grew up watching Sex and the City and fantasizing of the carefree Carrie Bradshaw way of life. Carrie Bradshaw always seemed relatable yet her experiences far fetched. I never thought that situations she got herself into occurred in real life, however, since I have left my small hometown in CT and now live in a city I have learned that her escapades are not outlandish whatsoever and that gems such as the ones you see on the show truly do exist. Being that I seriously dated someone for roughly 8 years I never experienced these whack jobs that are out there. Now that I'm out enjoying Atlanta nightlife I am meeting some very interesting people and I am able to group them into different categories. I will not give their names or too much of a description so as to not give their identity away, with my luck some of them are definitely reading this...
The Stage Five Clinger Type
I've learned that I tend to attract men who are "stage five clingers". A term best made well known from the hilarious movie Wedding Crashers, stage five clingers will hold on and never let go, causing the other person to go absolutely insane. Its also extremely creepy and awkward when a stage five clinger shows up where you are without you knowing and sends the bartender over with a drink for you when you're trying to get another guy to buy you a drink. Awkward. It never fails, I will find the guy who turns out to be absolutely needy and I wonder how he ever made it through life before I came into the picture. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy taking care of people- I will do anything for those that I love but if you're in your mid to late twenties you should get a grip on your life and run it yourself! Luckily I think I just got rid of my current stage five. Another important note on stage five clingers is that they don't take hints very well, I've learned to be direct with a stage five, otherwise they'll cling on forever.
The I Want a Wife Type
All I will say on this type of guy is that sending a girl a picture of you with small children will not make her fall for you. Especially when she does not want children. If you're in your twenties you should be having fun- not trying to tie this down. This results in an immediate text to your best friend wondering if this situation just happened. This guy may also fall under the stage five clinger category as well.
The Asshole.
Lets face it- most guys are not nice and don't have good intentions. I recently let myself fall for a man within this category. Don't send mixed signals to a girl, its not nice to screw with our heads. There are certain guys who have great jobs and seem to have it together yet all it takes is one awful night out where they invite you and another girl who they clearly plan on bringing home and think you'll be ok with this horribly awkward situation. Instead of causing a scene what you need to do is buy a round of shots for everyone at the surrounding bar and charge it to his tab without him knowing. Then you and your new friends can toast to the fact that you didn't end up with this jerk and move on.
The Disappointment
Lets just say I thought this was a myth. Adorable, perfect chemistry, basically perfect in every way except one. And there's no need to elaborate further on this.
The Creeper
Trying to help a girl escape a stage five clinger is often where the creeper comes in to play. Then you think you didn't give them too much information on yourself when you get a Facebook friend request from them the next week. I am now questioning Facebook's privacy settings. This is the type of guy you do not friend and stay away from because they just seem creepy.
Changing some of my favorite lyrics slightly to fit, "I've got 99 problems but a man ain't one". On to the next.
No comments:
Post a Comment