Smack Talk

If you know me, you know my obsession with basketball, mainly the Celtics. My passion for them continually grows over the years. Like most people, I have a love/hate relationship with my favorite men. When they play horribly I'm screaming at my tv (a skill I learned from my father), when they're playing well, winning and on top of the world like champions I'm jumping on my couch with excitement. I love the adrenaline rush you get from going to watch the game in an arena, it's completely different than watching from the comfort of your own home. I love getting so wrapped up in the game and high fiving the person next to you who you've just met or the generally harmless smack talk that goes on if you're unfortunately sitting near a fan of the opposing team. When I was planning my move to Atlanta my dad said to me he didn't care what I changed as long as I didn't lose my love for the celtics (see its a lifestyle up north just like college football is down here in the south). Luckily for me the hawks are a terrible team so I didn't see any reason to be worried that I'd stop supporting my team. So when tickets went on sale for the celtics vs the hawks right here in my backyard my heart was jumping out of my chest. You have to understand something, every preseason they play against the Knicks in Hartford. Hartford is a huge supporter of the celtics, and Ray Allen who went and played for UCONN back in the day. I have bought tickets for me and my dad to this game the past 2 years (Courtside both times) and he has had the unfortunate luck of not being able to go either time; once due to a bad accident and then this past year since the lockout was still going on...so I was refunded yet again and figured I'd have to survive this season without seeing them tear up the court unless I flew to Boston (still a possibility). Anyways I get it in my head that I'm going to this game but I figured I'd get cheap seats and drag my best friend Lindsey with me. Well as the game approached and my excitement grew, I was missing home a bit at this point, I bought really good seats, made sure all my celtics apparel was clean so we would have options to dress head to toe in the classic green and off we went. I called my dad on the way to the game and his advice was the following: "Ashley I know you get super excited and into these games but please remember where you are, do not get mugged and please do not get in a fight with anyone" I let that go in one ear and out the other and headed downtown to Phillips arena. The arena is not in the greatest of neighborhoods, and me growing up pretty sheltered was not prepared to have people hasseling me from my car literally all the way to my seat; money, my ticket, the jersey I had on- didn't matter they wanted it. Once in our seats we realize we managed to get pretty good tickets. When the game started I was yelling as usual (hence me not having a voice this morning) and was surprised by the turnout of celtics fans- it was impressive. Unfortunately I was not sitting near any of them. I converted the guys next to me who were from Mexico and barely spoke English into celtics fans by telling them they needed to cheer for them. They clearly had no clue where they were or anything about the sport of basketball. Halfway through the game a lovely drunk man decides he wants to yell at me on his walk back to his seat, I remember my fathers advice and let it go. Then at the beginning of the 4th quarter he is walking once again back to his seat (why bother going to a game if you're not going to watch it?) and proceeds to stop and yell at me that he hates Boston. So I ignore him and he does it again, so I stood up in my 5 inch gold sequined stilettos and yelled back "that's nice I honestly don't know what you want me to say to you right now because I love my Boston men". Then his wife pushed him back to his seat as he was spewing vile slurs at me. I get right back into the game and at this point Boston came back in a major way and Ray was just hitting 3 pt after 3 pt. Then the man behind me leans in and screams, yes a whisper would have been lovely I didn't need to have my ear drums hurting "I just want to effing punch Rondo in the face, I hate him" once again I take my fathers advice and don't pay any attention. Then he does it again and goes "I don't think you heard me" so now I'm pissed and want to punch this guy in the face because he's made his team is losing and that rondo and ray are playing like champions. I also have some choice words for him but the fear of getting kicked out and missing the last minute stopped me. So I instead chose to yell back that he was just pissed off that his team didn't have any championship banners hanging and probably never would since they play so terribly. Then the celtics won, I went insane and we ran to the car before any other altercations could occur. All in all it was a good night and yet another learning experience.

"You need to finish your drinks, leave and don't come back"

Never in my life have I ever been kicked out of a place. So when we were kicked out of a bar that looked like it could stand to keep a few customers I was in shock. Let me take you back to the beginning of the evening...I was laying on my couch watching kate and leopold, drinking a skinny girl margarita and having a pity party for myself since my aunt had just left and I was feeling a bit homesick when my best friend texts me to see if I want to go out. Now I was conflicted- I wanted to go out but I really didn't feel like moving, let alone pulling myself together but after her persistence I agreed. The sappy romantic comedy ended (which if you haven't seen kate and leopold just watch it) and Superbad came on. That was all the motivation I needed to pour a cafe patron, curl my hair and find something sequined to wear. We started the night having to pay a cover to get into a bar- ok honestly who carries cash these days? I obviously had $20 because my dad always yells at me for not having cash so we got in and then the process of trying to get a drink started. The bartender literally ignored us and served everyone else at the bar. When Lindsey asked for a beer he said she had to go downstairs to get it and then moved on to ask me what I wanted without asking her if she wanted something else, I'm sure he'll be happy with the tip we left him, it reflected his service. I have another tip for him- don't be a bartender if you don't want to be nice to people. We get bored with this bar and then try to go to one down the street but unfortunately they had a ridiculous cover and lets face it me paying covers is insane because I have no attention span whatsoever and would probably only be in this establishment for 25 minutes max. So we go to this charming (sarcasm) bar that I can't remember the name of at this moment but for anyone who lives in portland it reminded me of a cross between cafe 66 and the winchester. No scratch that, the winchester crowd is classier than the people in this bar were. We order our drinks, try to not pick up a disease from the bathroom and then get bored as this place is not really hopping. Well they had a rooftop bar that wasn't open that evening but one of the drunk guys we were with made his way up there so we all followed because it was more exciting than downstairs. Obviously my catholic guilt kicks in at this time, as I was the child who never did anything wrong so Lindsey and I leave the guys and head downstairs. On our way down we run into someone who works there who yells something at us but I'm already sitting at the bar ordering another drink. Then the guys all come down and the guy who worked there is yelling "you all need to finish your drinks and go and never come back here". Oh I'm sorry- you're honestly kicking us out? We weren't acting like drunk fools and maybe if you don't want people upstairs you should have someone working in front and keep the door shut and locked so it can't be accessed. And another thing, we made up half of the people in this bar on a saturday night, I really wouldn't be kicking paying customers out especially when there was no one else there, its not like we were getting in fights or causing trouble, get over it. I give it another month and this place will be closed. And that was how I got kicked out of a bar for the first time in my life. I guess there's a first time for everything...

#winning

- Celtics taking down LinSanity on Sunday. Maybe now the Knicks will stop acting like they are untouchable. Get over yourselves. I wish I had been at this game, although I totally would have gotten in a fight with a knicks fan as that happened during the preseason game 2 years ago. Don't mess with my favorite men in the whole world, I'll try to kick your ass even though I'm tiny. I tend to get super sassy at sporting events or just places in general when guys think I have no clue what I'm talking about and try to sass me. I win every time so don't mess with me.

- Paul Pierce tying the game with 4.9 seconds left. I don't have enough words to express my love for him or Rondo. If either one of them gets traded I may cry. That is how much I love the celtics and the big 4 the team is centered around.

- Enjoying pitchers of margaritas outside when its beautiful out.  I don't think I need to elaborate further on this one.

- Having my 8 year old cousin tell me the boy she has a crush on has made it obvious that he likes her and everyone says so. I wish we could all have the excitement of an 8 year old who has a crush :) Until then I've got 99 problems but a man ain't one.